yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just google imaged poop.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
