I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
