you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I party with great urgency now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
