I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
