Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
