when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
