is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
