can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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