You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
