in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
