Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
