Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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