i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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