yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
