shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Let's paint friendship bongs
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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