what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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