I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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