I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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