I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
