i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
