Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.

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(317): View more from Indiana

for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.

Fav 13 955 3550
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(775): View more from Nevada

It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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(937): View more from Ohio

That's science, my friend. Boner science.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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(425): View more from Washington

Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET

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(269): View more from Michigan

Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.

Fav 8 969 545
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(254): View more from Texas

I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day

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