so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
