areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
