seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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