But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
