she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
