For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
