Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
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My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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