I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
