all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it glows. i had to have it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
