the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
