Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
