Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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