why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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