I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
