Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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