Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
