Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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