Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
