who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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