dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
