theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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