D3 body, D1 cock
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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