Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
