I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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