i may or may not be watching the land before time
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
