ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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