this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
