So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
