I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
