think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize