The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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