Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
