Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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