I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
