well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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