even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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