hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
