Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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