All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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