So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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