Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
