when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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